I've recently spent a lot of time working toward my midwifery degree only to find that right now it no longer has the pull it used to have. I still plan on finishing, I'm so close and have spent so much time, but I'm not sure that my mission really lies in that direction.
As time goes by and we learn new things we gain a new perspective on our missions. I'm sure that my midwifery experience and education will influence who I become over time but I don't know that it is the end of my journey.
For now I'm still searching and pondering what my mission might be. I feel like the third type of student in the article from The Statesman:
"Type 3 is the What Should I Do? student. Should I read this book? Should
I write this paper, should I change mentors? Should I study or work or
play today? The "what should I do" student will choose to submit to a
mentor one day and the next go back to the drawing board. They are unfocused and
noncommittal, making it difficult to get a quality education, because they
constantly vacillate back and forth."
My son, Christopher, was reading The Great Divorce, by CS Lewis. I haven't read it and was asking him about it and discussing his thoughts. He said that it is about heaven and hell and that it is more painful to face who you really are and start changing than to just pretend all is well and return to life as normal. But that as we change and walk forward it gets easier and less painful.
Realizing that I have qualities of the Type 3 Student is the first painful step of self evaluation and hopefully a step toward becoming a Type 1 Student. I am becoming a real believer in the principle of "you not them". If I don't have a purpose, a mission, how can I set that example for my children?
The best news is that as we muddle through, trying is better than not. Christopher is thriving at GWC, he's sought out a mentor relationship this summer and is reading and writing things that I
couldn't have gotten him to at home. I've done something right and it gives me hope that I'm on the right track.
I'm grateful for those of you who are joining me in the journey to build leaders here in Alaska. Thank you for being my friends and my examples.
Tammy
4 comments:
I too am feeling like a type 3 student. I want to study this and write that, but can't seem to focus. The problem: I want to bury myself away reading and ignore my children. The kids have started school this week and are doing ok, but I definetely see where my inspiration is lacking... I have not found the balance between keeping them going and being able to study myself. Do you have any suggestions?
Where can I find the article you are referring to?
The article I'm refering to can be found in The Statesman Newsletter. The link is http://newsletter.gw.edu/archive/Submissions/59
Thanks,
Tammy Smith
Tammy, you left a message on my blog saying to send you my e-mail. Here it is: snowflake@alaska.net
Thanks,
Laurie
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