Inside-Out

"When you reread a classic you do not see more in the book than you did before; you see more in you than was there before." -Clifton Fadiman

From the first moment 11 years ago when I first picked up "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" I knew it was a classic and have read and reread and referred to the book numerous times, but always just to 'refresh' my memory. I thought I had a deep understanding of what that book had to offer.

I picked the book up to read it again as our reading assignment for our book discussion in March. Now that I've had the preparation of a year's worth of leadership education, of practicing "[Me] not Them" I learned more in the first chapter entitled "Inside-Out" than I learned all the previous times reading the entire book. The principles I learned were not necessarily new ideas, but I understood them on a new, personalized, very deep level. I felt compelled to write it all out and filled three pages in my journal. As I was pondering and writing I was learning many things in new ways, many of which weren't even in the book. To give an example, I've included an edited portion of my journal entry in italics.

'I read again about P/PC, Production vs. Production Capability. Golden Eggs=Production, Goose=Production Capability. The goose is worth protecting, worth investing in. I must feed it, keep it safe & warm, etc. If I want the benefits or production of a marriage, (emotional, mental, social, physical, & spiritual intimacy) then I must feed the marriage with whatever makes Elisabeth (my wife) happy. Whether I do this because I want the benefits or because I truly love Elisabeth probably matters not as far as getting [at least some of] the benefits, but it does matter if I want to enjoy nurturing the Production Capability (PC). It is possible to feed the PC without enjoying it & still get the Production (P), but what a loss when the real joy can be found in nurturing the PC.'

'I must focus on PC with my children, and I must learn to enjoy it... I don't think I really love the kids enough. I know that loving comes from serving, so I must serve my children. I must serve to love, yet I must love, to serve well. I guess the answer to this is that I don't love God as well as I should, and if I did, I'd do His will with His children.'

'So, I must love God, and loving God comes from knowing Him. And how can I know Him unless I communicate with Him. So, if I better my communication with Him, and I come to know Him, then I will come to love Him (what's not to love?). As I come to love Him I will desire to serve him, & in desiring to serve Him I will desire to serve my 'fellow-beings' knowing that service to them is only service to my God. Serving fellowman will lead to loving my fellowman which will then reverse the cycle. Loving my fellow beings leads me to want to serve them, which is serving my God. This service leads me to love God more which cause me to desire to know him more.'

'Without having moved forward in this cycle first, I can get lost in the reverse path. We can get stuck loving & serving our fellowman and getting the P (warm fuzzy feelings from loving & serving) without truly nurturing the PC (love of God, true motivation) & eventually we can lose desire to serve man, we can lose love for men. Men are imperfect which can lead to loss of trust, respect, then loss of love & desire to serve. Starting at the beginning of this cycle (Inside-Out) helps us love God & serve Him and He will not fail us. A mother can forget her sucking child, but God will NOT forget us, He has engraven us in the palms of His hands.'

OUTSIDE-IN approach
Know Fellowman--> Love Fellowman--> Serve Fellowman--> Lose interest

INSIDE-OUT
Know God--> Love God--> Serve God=Serve Fellowman--> Love Fellowman--> Know Fellowman--> Love Fellowman--> Serve Fellowman=Serve God--> Love God--> Know God--> And so forth.

Now most people probably won't get this information out of this chapter. I was personally taught and inspired because of my preparation and focusing on my education. When I reread this chapter I "[saw] more in [me] than was there before." I saw clearly what I must do and even had it all laid out with a pattern or a cycle that helps me remember the new information & insight. I never got even close to this before when I read this book. Oliver DeMille talks about all the exposure to greatness in Classics reaching a "Critical Mass" followed by an awakening of the reader. A whole new world is opening up to me. I can't even imagine what might open up to me as I reread the remainder of "The 7 Habits..." or as I continue to study other classic works. True education is exhilarating & very rewarding. I feel I might finally be "one step ahead" as a mentor because I focused on ME not THEM.